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Thursday, August 08, 2013

I'm going to miss this

19 months and still going strong with our nursing relationship. The first three-six weeks of nursing with Abby were rough (it's all a blur now!) but with Micah and Alexis it came pretty easily. I've been blessed in that we never had any real struggles with weight gain (in the beginning at least), over/under supply. My babies may have never willingly taken a bottle to let mommy leave them for longer than they could last between feedings but that was something we could easily deal with. 

However, sadly, I'm beginning to think their may be an end in sight. Abby and Micah were addicts... serious addicts. Lexie isn't showing quite that same tendency. Like any nursling there are times she'll throw a fit to nurse when she is sleepy but doesn't really want to sleep. However at nap and night time she all the sudden in the past few weeks has decided that she doesn't want to nurse and rock to sleep like we have for her entire first 18 months of life. Bedtime now instead of laying a sweet sleeping baby down in her bed, she is going into her bed awake, playing the whole throw everything out of bed (twice!) before laying down and putting herself to sleep. 99% of that was her choice. She's showing signs of starting to self-wean, something Abby and Micah had to be encouraged to do. Life will be different without the cure-all that is breastfeeding - no magic milk for boo-boos, pink eye, a quick way to quiet a tantrum-ing toddler. But thankfully we aren't there yet. I'm not sure I'm ready for this stage to end. 

She's growing up. She's not staying my little baby any more. She was already showing how 'big' she was in her toddler ways while she was playing and copying everything sister and brother do. But bedtime I could still cuddle my sweet babe, rock her to sleep and enjoy the quiet listening to her sleepy breathing. Now it's only at nap time, and not even every nap lately that I get to breathe in that sweetness. Time enjoying my last baby. 

I'm going to miss this. 

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